Honest Requests

Behind every judgement there is something beautiful not being expressed

The future I wish for

The future I wish for is one where people meet each other with an open heart and show up authentically and truthfully with their whole being. For me this means a strong connection to the body and an intention to fully own one’s experience. In this future people would sit down together and naturally feel into the group field where nothing needs to happen but everything can emerge. This requires an incredible deep trust and intuitive movement towards connection with our fellow mammals, as well as a capacity to see and hold what feels alive in the moment.

Right now I create spaces where we can feel relaxed while embracing the awkward and the uncomfortable, and where we can face the contradictions between how we see ourselves and how we behave; with compassion. Join me in confronting the unknowns of our psyche with curiosity and acceptance; let’s increase our capacity to love ourselves and others.

Deep Breath

Upcoming events

Mirror of Men

This is an established man group. We are currently with 6 men and we are looking for an additional 3 men who are excited to grow together. If you feel the pull to be a part of this, I invite you to message me with your motivation and availability.

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Cuddly Couch Community Gathering

Steeds meer mensen om mij heen praten over de wens samen met vrienden ergens in de natuur van het land te leven. In de huidige samenleving is dit moeilijk te realiseren, grond en huizen zijn duur, van het land leven is best wel moeilijk; en een groep mensen bijeen brengen EN houden is bijna onmogelijk.

Ook zijn er veel mensen bezig met workshops en cursussen met de focus op verbinding, aanraking en zelf-reflectie; én workshops en cursussen die focussen op praktische vaardigheden. Zou het niet fijn zijn als we al deze ervaringen en lessen combineren?

In dit experiment wil ik dit allemaal wat dichter bij elkaar brengen en samen een community experience creëren. Dat houd in dat we voor een weekendje gezellig samen komen en de verbinding met zowel elkaar als de aarde opzoeken. Om de ervaring zo compleet mogelijk te maken beginnen we op Vrijdagavond met een leuke oefening waarin je in steeds wisselende groepjes de connectie gaat zoeken met jezelf en anderen. Verder is er een Community Forum (gebaseerd op het Zegg Forum); waarin we de ruimte geven aan mensen om zich echt te laten zien en helpen we Ecofarm de Foundation 3 uurtjes per dag met oogsten en andere klusjes op het land in ruil voor een deel van de oogst en een plek voor onze tent. Tot slot hebben we iedere avond een kampvuur waar er ruimte is voor spelletjes en muziek. Op deze manier kunnen we toch ervaren hoe het is om samen van het land te leven. Ben je erbij?

August 7, 8 & 9 in Zelhem

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Belly2Belly Practice Group

Belly2Belly is a simple practice in which you are in an embrace with another human being, breathing in rhythm with sound on the exhale. What results is a profoundly felt sense of peace and connection, a natural biochemical high that mirrors intimate love, a deep meditative state and a feeling of oneness.

In groups, we focus on generating intimacy, emotional openness, and physical bonding in a safe, slow, guided non-sexual way. We reawaken our primal need for human connection, animal to animal, body to body, heart to heart. By trusting our bodies and each other, we reclaim our original innocence... and remember we are safe.

Every Thursday from 19:30 until 22:00 in Utrecht

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Request help

In any relationship with another person communication is the key to feeling connected and willing to freely give to one another. I want to support you in shifting your perspective from blame, criticism and demand to compassion and empathy. Can you imagine never hearing any judgments and demands ever again and still living in reality?

Click one of the icons below to find out how I can support you

One on One Empathy

If you have thoughts or feelings you don’t understand an empathy session can give you some clarity. In empathy I support your own thought process by reformulating what I hear you say and giving you space to talk until the end of your words.

Moments when Empathy can help are when you:
Feel depressed, angry, shame or guilt
Feel pain, confused or frustrated
Need to make a difficult decision
Have situations where the communication is stuck
Want to "get over it" and mourn

For my time I would like to ask a contribution between €20,- and €40,- depending on free will and income for 45 minutes. We can meet face-to-face, use skype or call directly.

Couple sessions & Mediation

Nobody wakes up in the morning and thinks, I am going to make your life a living hell. In conflict we can say horrible things, things we might not mean or things that come out of a place of pain. When we are in these conflicts it is very hard to hear pain of someone else, especially when conflicts drag on and we start to create enemy images of each other.

“He is such a pig when we eat in public, it drives me crazy!”
“My neighbor is such a S.O.B., his cats took a shit in our garden again!”
“I hate that my friend is always making negative comments about everything!”
“My manager is a racist, he doesn’t accept any people of color!”

Although it can feel very vulnerable to involve another person in these challenging moments, having someone listen and translate these hurtful messages into something the other can hear can be very valuable. I would like to support your communication process and create a safe space where everybody’s needs are heard.

For my time I ask a contribution of €90,- for the first 3 hours which is the minimal amount I need to hear you both. For every hour more I would like to ask an additional €30,-.

Group Consent

Where there are people there is conflict, Nonviolent Communication is a tool which can facilitate group decision making in a civil manner. With NVC you can make sure that everybody’s voice will be taken into consideration and that you will meet as many needs as possible.

Group Consent can be applied to:
Startups and businesses
Groups of friends, family and neighbors
Boards and meeting rooms
Everywhere where everybody needs to be involved in the decision making

As a contribution I would like to ask in between €450,- and €850,- depending on the time spend and on what the group consents to pay.

Materials

Imagine that at any moment you are able to experience that closeness with another person that you usually only experience with close friends, the materials below can support you in formulating your feelings and needs in a supportive way. I added the youtube video that inspired me 9 years ago and I invite you to watch the first 10 minutes to get a good impression of what Nonviolent Communication is about.

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In the Netherlands Nick is a corporate IT expert by day and a group facilitator by night. Nick specializes in Circling, Embodied Intimacy and Nonviolent Communication, and he is very passionate about creating spaces where people dare to speak from their hearts. He founded Honest Requests, the Cuddly Couch Community and Mirror of Men in the town of Utrecht where he brings intimacy embodiment and clear communication; to explore what it means to be a human being and remove the obstacles that keep us from being authentic and truthful with each other.

If you are curious and want to stay updated about my work or you are curious about who I am I invite you to follow me on Facebook and Instagram.